GRATEFUL

Just received my first rejection letter in fifteen years after fifteen years of creative celibacy The (1) in my Gmail tab had my heart aflutter before my brain could even say "Careful, girl, We've been down this road before" Nah, I welcome your congratulations That prize money is in the bag Yeah, I might fly out to do a reading on my victory lap, to your adulation, thank you I assume my travel costs will be covered? Click I'd forgotten the sting of "Unfortunately ... " A template personalized with just my initials (Pen names are not shields) at the top to let me know it isn't personal It feels personal Out of over 600 submissions mine was not the best It felt Nobel-worthy, writing it Turns out, barely noteworthy Didn't even make the short list What a welcome back after 15 years And yet Thank you for your consideration Because I wouldn't have written a word had I not been enticed, challenged, to allow myself back in after 15 years of self-exile For just a few minutes of your time my words were center stage kissed the limelight Illuminating I'd be a hypocrite in my upset Unfortunately, I too could pick a favorite out of over 600 knowing it will break over 600 "Dear [name]" hearts So who am I to judge? I am, indeed, just grateful for the opportunity to write again not because it proves I can. Because it proves I did.